Insomnia

The sun is coming up. It's 6:10am PST as I begin to write. I can't sleep. My mind is in a flurry that I can't seem to organize into rational thought. So many thoughts... I try to grasp at one and they all scatter like cockroaches in the light, and all semblance of thought is gone. My mind is blank. Those who know me know that I tend to stare at walls. They say I look deep in thought, and I was, until they said something and brought my attention to it. *click* the light's on in the kitchen and my thoughts just ran under the fridge. I tell them in full honesty that my mind is blank, although it wasn't seconds prior. The main problem I have is that I have too many thoughts at once. My mind is on autopilot, in overdrive, swerving down the freeway. I can't seem to keep it under control. When I have my moments of clarity, and I have a thought that I can grasp, the timing is likely to be very random and inopportune. when I'm actively engaged in conversation the thoughts flow. When others try to engage conversation, my mind goes blank. I shrug. I have nothing to say. My mind just went blank.....